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First Time Mother Hood | I Am A Different Person

by Chouquette

It has been a long time since I have wanted to pour my thoughts into an article, it must be the sentimental aspect of what I wish to share. I usually share stories on my YouTube channel here, many of you know I tend to talk to too much so maybe this is a better option!

I wanted to share this beautiful look with you, it is one of my favorite dresses. This feminine look is very rare for me, I am usually drawn to more masculine looks but each year I will pick a handful of days where I will be totally girly and enjoy pastel colour dresses, frills and roses and love every moment of it. This has been the case for years.

Looking back at these photos I felt more comfortable than ever feeling feminine. You would have thought that having a son would make me feel my usual tomboy self and a daughter would bring out my girly side. I have realized that this is the opposite for me. Having a son has made me feel like the queen of the household; it has brought out the girly side of me. If I had a daughter, I know I would be drawn to the more masculine girl’s looks.

My husband Paris, said to our son “mummy is the princess and we have to look after her“. My heart feels full every day, and just when I feel it cannot feel any fuller; moments like this happen.

Everyone has been asking “so how are you finding it?” My answer to this is “wonderful”. My first thought is actually a feeling, a warm feeling, I smile, followed by the words “it is wonderful”. Nothing prepares you for anything close to motherhood, nothing comes close and the feeling cannot be put into words. There are so many emotions, your mind and body tackle, so many emotions. Feelings from pure worry, worry that you have never experienced before, and did not think this level of worry is possible. During my first week of the C Section recovery, the time when the pain is brutal, you can barely move and you cannot even sit up unaided; this was when I gained the nickname “mamma bear” from my husband. One night I heard a noise in his crib. To me it sounded like he was choking to death, five weeks on I am pleased to share these noises are in fact just baby gurgles! I shot up out of bed and ran to his crib. I did not feel the pain or worry about getting up slowing due to having zero core strength. It sounds dramatic but for me, it was the first time I had experienced that I would sacrifice anything for my son and never put myself first over him. This is a deep feeling of love, a love so intense that nothing else matters.

I am still the same person of course. I love life, I love my family, I am incredibly ambitious and believe in kindness, kindness conquers all. As soon as I fell pregnant I felt a shift in my personality. I started planning ahead and considering more sensible choices. I only spent my time with the friends I truly love; people who love and respect me as much as I love and respect them. It was more important than ever to spend my time and thoughts with love. I am blessed to have so many loving friends but I even appreciated them more as it highlighted who and what was important. This is also the point where I understood that “it is all about your attitude during pregnancy”. Pregnancy is tough. I had a pretty good pregnancy, all the usual symptoms: sickness, exhaustions, Braxton Hicks and I suffered from the extra fluid which was painful. I knew it was not going to be a breeze and I also knew I had to stay positive and remind myself this is a beautiful miracle and the result will be worth it. It was all true, it is a beautiful miracle and it was all worth it. I flipped my attitude. When I had Braxton Hicks (that brought me to tears some nights) I told myself this was good, my body is preparing my womb for labour and it is making me strong. This time tomorrow it will be fine. The pains were all manageable and I knew why this was happening, I always researched pains and I was always prepared for them. I never let myself feel down about the pains or feeling exhausted. I accepted the tiredness; of course, my body will be tired, it is creating organs and all sorts! I understood the pains and researched what they meant. This helps a lot. These are just a few examples of how I stayed positive and relied on a positive attitude.

The positive attitude has stayed and this is just the start of the new me.

Being a mother has given me more empathy. I love more and this is due to having a full heart. I have more love to give, my son fills me with enough love to share with others. He has made me realise what life is all about. His pureness and innocents make me want the best for him so he can stay like this for as long as possible. I want him to only feel love and happiness so that is what I will express and surround him with. Anything I have in addition to our health is a bonus. Life has given me my baby Honoré, anything else is a bonus. Therefore I enjoy every little thing.

I am more excited about the future. I look forward to nothing more than building memories. I am also more focused. I have always been focused on my work and building a future but it went up ten levels! I have never been busier with work and it is all due to my get up and go, positive attitude. Everything I am doing is for him and his future. No better incentive. Yes, working full time is tougher now but I am just being more organized and trying my best. I cannot do any more.

I even love the fact when we leave the house, okay it has only been a few times to my mums due to Covid 19, but when we leave the house I love the fact that he is immaculate, with 55 spare outfits and everything he needs and more in my baby bag. I even ensure Paris has everything he needs. I then realise I haven’t even brushed my hair but it is okay because I love the fact that I prioritize him and not myself. Do not get me wrong, I will not let myself go. I still need to work, run a business and have love and value for myself. I know I need to put my best self forward in order to give him the best. It is just a content feeling to know someone else is my priority.

Finally, I have a new love for my husband. To see the man you love with your baby, a baby you made together; it is one of the best feelings in the world. To see him love and be so tender with a tiny baby, it is beautiful. I also feel his love for me is stronger because I made his precious son.

These are all the things parents do not tell you. Ther magical moments like when you baby smiles at you or looks into your eyes whilst feeding him/her. Those tiny moments make up for lack of sleep, birth recovery, and all the bad things. I was tired of people telling me how hard it was to have a baby and children altogether, how tired they are and some even told me “oh it ruins your life haha”. Personally I do not think this is fair to share because some people are genuinely scared to have children. It deprives people of magical, miracle moments. Yes, it’s exhausting and you experience tiredness on a whole new level, yes your body changes, yes, you cannot do selfish things at the drop of a hat but I can assure you the happy moments is worth all of the above.

The next article I want to share is about my body, the changes, the insecurities, the stretch marks, and most of all the styling tips, underwear tips and all fashion related issues where us mums can feel good about our body and our wardrobe. But at the same time, I want to share some truths. People think I have “snapped back” but I totally haven’t, I am again being positive and dressing for my new shape with lots of styling tricks. Would you like to see this article? Is it worth me writing it?

To end this article. Here are a few of my favorite pieces to shop right now. If you sign up to this website here, you can receive cash credit when you shop. The promotion is during the month of September but you MUST sign up today to qualify. You can shop my dress here, it is true to size, I wear size 2. The rest of my outfit is linked below.

DRESS gifted

SHOES

BAG

BABIES HAT gifted

BABIES OUTFIT USE CODE FF10CLAIRE

MY HAT gifted

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